Comments posted by dashmagnus
34 comments
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2. dashmagnus 134 days ago on video How To Wash Your Cat
I wish that cat would scratch the hell out of him.
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4. dashmagnus 261 days ago on video Secret Pool
Because 007 theme music is always associated with laughing families splashing water on each other in the backyard.
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5. dashmagnus 293 days ago on video Where the Hell is Matt? 2012
Holiday, celebration
come together in every nation
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6. Comment rated too low. Show this comment dashmagnus 298 days ago on video Celebrities Read Mean Tweets
Kristen Stewart, Helen Hunt
talk about two boring girls.
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7. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Truck Explosion at McDonald's
Every time I go to McDonald's with my niece Phyllis she always asks what the fish is like. And I always have to say, "It's square fish Phyllis! OK!"
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8. Comment rated too low. Show this comment dashmagnus 1 year ago on video The Most Annoying Cat
I had to take the door stoppers off the doors because my cats did the same thing.
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9. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Dangerous Way to Feed Wolves
Is this a deleted scene from one of the Jackass movies?
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10. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Blind prodigy playing a song on the piano after hearing it for the first time
The original sounded like some Euro trance crap. His piano version is MUCH better. So talented.
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11. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Chinese build record breaking bridge
Yes, China is doing well. If you overlook the human rights violations, worker safety, lack of freedom of the press, suppressing political demonstrations and protests and an overall disregard for the welfare or property rights of the people in general. But the infrastructure construction projects are, indeed, impressive. It almost makes China look like a great place to live and raise a family.
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12. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Man Buys a Safe On Ebay...
The world is not addicted to money. People just incorrectly assume that having it will solve all of their perceived problems. That somehow it will magically make them happy and their lives will be full. But that is just a superficial illusion. When I am gone I would rather people remember me for being a good person and a true friend than for whatever materialistic possessions I did or did not have.
This won't be overheard at my funeral:
"Oh my god Becky, look at him in that casket! He just bought the new iPhone and he's not even getting buried with it!"
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14. Comment rated too low. Show this comment dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Super-cat
It's Toonces little brother!
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15. Comment rated too low. Show this comment dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Redneck mechanics: Tank Tracked Truck
It should have a decal on the window that says "Micropenis Onboard".
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16. dashmagnus 1 year ago on video Machine tries to take over the world!!
I did not know that construction companies provided a Sit-n-Spin onsite for employee health & fitness.
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17. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Cutting open a coconut Hawaii vs Trinidad
Effortlessly? As he stands there whacking it with a machete..over and over and over. I'll have to remember this the next time I'm lost on a desert island with a wheelbarrow full of coconuts.
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18. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Indian Driving Manners
They should be driving more carefully. It is Ganesh's birthday after all.
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19. Comment rated too low. Show this comment dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Boston Logan Departures
Yawn....zzzzzzzzz.
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20. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Guy falls from top of mountain
I want my two dollars! I want my two dollars!
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21. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Just another day at the office
Tell her to light her tampon and blow her box apart.
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22. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video why burgers looks so good at the pictures
This makes sense. If they showed burgers the way it is served to customers then it would have the horrible white chunks of iceberg lettuce, miniscule pickles, tomatoes that are still green in the middle and topped off with excessive amounts of diced onions. Show this burger next to the over cooked limp french fries that taste like they were fried in week old oil. And this is when they get your order correct. Mmmm mmmm. Just thinking about it makes me so hungry.
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24. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video I feel cold
My cat loves to fetch Jolly Ranchers. In fact, he insists on my throwing them so he can fetch. And he will wake up from a dead sleep if he even hears the crinkle of the plastic candy wrapper. And I do not have to play a video backwards to make it look cool.
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26. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Baby Elephant in the Bath
The only way to combat poaching is to end the belief that ivory increases male sexual performance. Would be interested to know if there has been any attempts to educate those who buy ivory for use in traditional Chinese medicine. A new widespread ad campaign could be started all over Asia..."Save the Elephants! Buy Viagra! It's Right on the Corner, Right on the Price!".
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27. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video House Built Of Coasters
Great. Just what we need. More crap that will end up in a land fill.
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28. dashmagnus 2 years ago on video Woman at the Car Wash FAIL
This is what happens when a woman has a hot flash at the car wash. She should have tried hormone therapy.
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29. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video Guy Has Different Way of Doing Tequila Shots
I don't think that was salt. I think it was ketamine.
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30. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video stop smoking
My treadmill has a digital display showing the user's heartrate and blood pressure but I removed it to make room for the ashtray. After seeing this video I've decided to switch to low tar.
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31. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video Leopard Kills Baboon Protects Baby
Shortly afterwards Madonna arrived and adopted the baby in preparation for her Blond Baboon World Tour.
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32. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video Domesticated alligator
Crocodiles have two modes: EAT and EAT. This guy doesn't have a lick of sense.
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33. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video Rocket carrying a 45 million dollar military satellite
Attention, emergency! All personnel must evacuate. You now have 10 seconds to reach minimum safe distance.
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34. dashmagnus 3 years ago on video Angry British Telecom Customer
It's much easier (and funnier) to tell the telemarketer you will listen to their speech if they will listen to you tell them about Jesus. They won't be able to get off the phone fast enough. Works every time.
+2
1. dashmagnus 82 days ago on video So Porsche designed a television...
#2 That was my first impression as well. The same goes for men who buy enormous trucks that are jacked up and have gigantic wheels. Over compensating for feeling inadequate. Nice truck. Sorry about your small penis.