I just get drunk before going to the bar and order 1 or 2 shots and a beer. problem solved.
Or I hustle the bartender. THE KEY IS TO GET AS MANY FREE DRINKS AS POSSIBLE AND SPEND UNDER $20. I flash my money when ordering my first drink while making a comment like, "I had a rough day I just wanna get wasted.", Then I set my wallet or money clip on the bar and sit down or posture myself as if I'm gonna stay in that spot all night. I order a mixed spirits drink, something that is not trendy and it shouldn't be expensive. Just something like gin/tonic, jack/coke etc. Basically a drink that fits your mood, "I'm tired and want to relax, I'm gonna be here a while." 9 times out of 10 the bartender takes the bait and "hooks" the first drink up making it stronger,(or just right....the way it's supposed to be made),I leave a larger than normal tip for the first drink. The bartender usually gives a well shot or two "on the house". Then I by a shot and a beer and tell the bartender to keep the beers coming. The bartender usually gives a few more well shots on the house.

THE KEY TO THE BARTENDER IS THAT THEY HAVE TO BE CONVENCED THEY'RE GONNA MAKE EXTRAORDINARY TIPS OFF OF YOU. BARTENDERS TYPICALLY CARE ONLY ABOUT THIER OWN POCKETS, NOT THE CLUBS/BARS OVERHEAD. THEY WILL RAPE THE BAR IN PURSUIT OF BETTER TIPS.***THIS MEANS FREE DRINKS 4 YOU!***

When I'm half way done with my second beer, I put the total I owe for my tab, NO TIP, on the bar and walk away when the bartender is "tending" other customers. I only do this at busy night clubs and trendy, tourist bars/taverns. I don't do this to good honest bartenders. But I can have drinks all night and be wasted for about $15 - $20 dollars....usually less.

I manage and co own a nightclub, trust me this usually works.Especially in small somewhat busy nightclubs. I have problems with MY bartenders falling for this and similar scams. That's why I put auto pour taps in to serve my spirits. Everything is measured and tallied in the computer. There is no way for my bartenders to give away alcohol without me knowing.

SOUTHWEST used to be famous for their in-flight humor. The captains used to crack jokes over the intercom while in flight. Flying from S.F. to L.A. we were coming in on the final approach which goes over a tiny, small bit of the pacific, (the right wing was over water), and the captain comes on and says "Attention passengers, if you look out the windows on the right side of the plane, you can see the sun setting over the pacific. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you once again that your seat cushions may double as flotation devices. Thank You for flying southwest and have a great day. As the words "have a great day" came over the intercom, the plane banked hard left for approach. Everyone screamed then started laughing. That was the first time I had ever been in a plane, I was pissed. But I got over it.

THAT'S MY GRANDMA! GOOD WORK PEOPLE, DID YOU GET AN "A"?

I agree, serves 'em right for tryin to knock the kids off of their bikes. hope the idiot has to wear dentures now. b4, after,