That reminds me, I must clean the toilet.

Salted popcorn makes me want a drink....

THIRST!

- oh, wait a SECOND

She looks like she has to avoid walking over drains to avoid falling down a gap, so how she missed that mother of a hole is beyond me

Sorry, but that expression suggests some unwanted chaffing in some tender area or other; which no amount of top level meetings and hand shakes is gonna get rid of.

Why bother to confirm you've wiped enough by checking the toilet paper, when you can go right ahead and look up your arse?

Brilliant.

Right up there with tripping on a banana skin, and putting a pie in someone's face...

- anyone know the symbol for 'said in complete sarcasm'?

Police in high vis with lights or not - parking across the middle of a motorway lane with a row of traffic speeding towards you, then sitting there expecting no problems what so ever is sort of asking for it

#4 - yeah, like calling it a drone, putting real bombs on it and flying it round places like Afganistan ... oh, wait

I only liked this clip cos it reminded me of the song 'Sonne' by Rammstein (playing in the background) - the music video for which features a sadistic gold addicted Snow White, who likes to put her dwarves over her kneed and give them a good bare arse slapping - hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfHlA3fmJG0

- So I'm giving it a monkey head just for that

Funny, yet strangely disturbing

God watching that was like watching that scene in the first Austin Powers movie where he does a 100 point turn in that little truck in an alley.

Except this wasn't funny.

Or entertaining.

It's the sound effects that bring back the memories as much as the visual stuff.

Back in the day, Spy Hunter was my favorite
- would have been a bit of a ball ache to simulate that with Lego though.

#(removed comment) - that's right.

That's why basket ball is so big in every country around the world, and international competitions such as the World Cup draw such massive viewing figures and...

Oh, hang on a minute. That's football isn't it.

Was it the general theme of my last comment, or do people have something against any of the aforementioned items?

The attraction ride safety officer stated that he was perfectly safe.

You can see that the jowl straps were tightened to a level which prevented submarining out of the seat, and any subsequent fall/injury.

Amazing the difference in reaction it elicits when the 16 stone of water isn't in the shape of a fat american cop outside a Seattle Cinema.

'stuped scums'

- No #32 - I do not think you can

(spell that is)

The ambulance was requested on the off chance that a defibrillator was required, following the officer strolling back over and sticking 20000V through the old boy with his Taser. God bless law enforcement officers.

Personally, I would have buzzed the presenter as soon as he said the words - Hard Wood.

Apparently his biday was bust.

A girl I used to know said that she sprinkled Cat Nip all over the kitchen floor on afternoon when she was bored.

When the cat came in it went fecking bonkers.

He starts squeezing that kitten on his lap at 1:31 which is just cruel. Apart from that, it's the dogs bollocks.

A woman told a friend of mine that her 18 year old son was taking part in some 'Cheese related event in Gloucestershire' that weekend. He then e-mailed her a Youtube link showing her what it was all about, and strangely enough she was completely mortified.

Oh and that 'Grab the cheese!' yell has got to be the winner of the most obvious and unnecessary statement award 2009. Hilarious.

Whole new meaning to banging the bishop

Of course the combination of a seaside resort, some alcohol and an attractive woman is my preferred method of getting my rocks off - but this is still good.

Skills indeed. The way he manages to pass through so much traffic to give the maximum amount of people a good view of how much of a complete tool he is is very impressive.

Good comment #5 - I would have missed that that the guy went head first into the water if you hadn't pointed that out. Brilliant.

Actually - if someone gave you oral whilst you were sat at a desk - would it qualify as a desk-job?

Yep, there are loads of better ones.
e.g. Stewie on discussing the prospect of Brian sleeping with Louise:

"Look Brian as your friend I should tell you that vagina is ground zero man. I mean I wrecked that thing on the way out and just to be a jerk I carved "Brooks was here" on the wall, course with Chris going before me I pretty much walked out of there . Didn't have to stoop over. There was even room to twirl a cane as I strolled"

Was half expecting a bus to hit him at the end -
perhaps cos he didn't see a sign saying 'look right'.

> Public information film and comedy in one.

Hilarious.

The canned laughter just didn't stop.

When someone told me to check out the quality head of some South East Asian, this wasn't what I was expecting.

Think you're right #4, the lyrics:

Don’t tell my friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
Plus it’s your fault you were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive, someone said it’s a plus
Now I’ll go home and change.

- are classic.

Still, anyone taking the piss out of all the big 'I am's giving it big arms on big boats gets my vote everytime.

U G L Y, that cat aint got no alibi

I don't dare say the slogan at the end out loud, after it was taken completely out of context once; and I got attached by half a dozoen crazy bearded men.

That's the last time I drink Mountain Dew in a Synagogue

Poor guy's never felt such a prick so many times in his life.

Speaking of pricks, I see George Bush has chosen the logo for Google's homepage today.

#12 Ladies can just wear a skirt and squat over the hole whilst pretending to assess the 'lie of the green' for their next putt.

The flag may or may not be removed depending on how accommodating they are.

- That reminds me about the one about the prostitute and the paramedic...

I only laughed because it reminded me of this classic clip, which is definately worth enjoying again

http://www.snotr.com/video/1398

Cookie monster at his best at 36 secs. "F*********ck".

If this thing took off, I'd be tempted to slip a load of Viagras in the drinks at the clubhouse and see how many old codgers turn up at the local ER with golf clubs stuck to their dicks.

No, but I've wrestled a one eyed spittings snake.

I feel sorry for the guy who lives in the house in the background, who looked out of his window at the wrong moment and is now convinced that occasionally it rains bears in Montana.

Does this one need a pair boots if it's feeling horny?

Teenage Boot-Fucking Ninja Turtles!

Perverts in a Half Shell

TURTLE POWER!

0:27 - Eeeeeeewww, he told me he wouldn't cum in my mouth again!

#2 - I think I'd up the treble and lower the bass.

Unless you've got a thing for loads on fat blokes on your Adult film preference.

Cheese - you got that right.

Alternative descriptions could have included-

Shite
Cack
Pants

I could go on

Don't laugh, it's her glands


(too many gland sandwiches)

Just imagining if some of the fat munters that you see every day on the street bought some of these.

Eeewwww - I'd be blind within a week.

So the kid points at cows,
at a picture of a glass of milk,
at a newspaper headline reading 'They increase the exports of milk',
at a bra - holder of those globes of joy that provide - milk, and the ad is for..... Mothers day.

Ermmm....

He's drinking an Alcho-pop,
I'm not suprised Brad thought he was gay.

I'm more amazed that they perfected blow moulding Polyethylene Terephthalate bottles for water, before they got round to inventing the wheel.

The end would have been more impressive if the guy in red had kneed Mr dancing freak in the nuts as he booms at the end.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one that thinks the first half of the clip looks like a bridge getting a hard-on.

Not only has he got the hiccups, but the poor thing also goes to the same hairdresser as Don King.

Trying to work out which is worse.

Starting two World Wars, or producing this pile of crap.

They did a similar thing in Londons Gay Pride march a couple of years ago.

Biggest bum chain I've ever seen in my life.

So Daddy's just spent your New bike piggy bank savings on giving you a smile that consists of one tooth.

Just how does that make you feel?

... 0:56

Well,

That's my lunchtime brightened up no end.

Cheers Edward.

I think the fact that even the skateboard realised the whole thing wasn't a good idea at 0:18 says something about his apparent 'determination'.

Apparently there's also an ultrasound scan of him doing his first putt.

Don't ask me how they got the putter and ball up there though.

Ohhhh - GPS head-up-display. Yeah, that makes sense.

Not saying that having a flexible Japanese hotty in front of me during my drive to work wouldn't be nice, but it would cause no end of carnage on the road.

2:00 - Brilliant

They also have some fat blokes on standby for when the people on the ride scream that they want to go faster.

#2 - If she has, they're now lodged in her neck.

1:01
There's something disturbing and just a little bit pervy about a disembodies tongue roaming around on its own business.

Things I've learnt today:

Traders are Pimps.

Trade in Stoneage English is 'Ca-ca'.

#4 - Are you saying this has been you when you've woken up in the morning?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mESBqsmx0NU&feature=PlayList&p=800DB62387A9A65B&playnext=1&index=25

#5 - You mean EVOLUTION is great.

(Happy Birthday Darwin)

Now do you see why breakfast is the most important meal of the day?

That extreme reaction to trying to put your hands on some bush reminded me of past adolescent days chasing girls.

Think I'd rather get shot than be seen wearing that jacket.

Best example of it's funny 'cos it's true. Ever.

I'll save you 2 minutes of your life you'll otherwise never get back.

The funniest bit is here 0:03.

Hand job anyone?

#1 - Learn to lighten up and laugh?

I was taking the piss.

Note to self, black humour and sarcasm on Snotr will get you negative ratings.

#12 - Barriers on a level crossing an 'overbearing Safety precaution?' !

Wow. Now that you mention it, think of all the time and money wasted on all that other junk like seat belts, smoke alarms, barriers on motorway central reservations, railings on staircases, doors on lifts, crash helmets and all the other junk that we could all do without.

Nice one.

They soooooo wouldn't have taken Jesus seriously if that's what he looked like when he walked on water.

So close to winning the Darwin Awards. Fucking morons.

Sorry, but that is not a cute cat.

In fact, it looks pretty smug - like it wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire - unless of course you were about to feed it or buy it a new couch.

#10 - well spotted. She's actually got a remote control device that's attached to the dog. It reaches full pressure on the dogs nads at 0:08.

#13 - I'm with you. While it looks impressive, it would take more balls to do it just on skis. Everytime some rocks appear - oop, think I'll just pull on the chute and, oh, yep - just glide over them.

3:06 'Hey, do you think I'm sexy?'....... DONK.

And again.

Another twat in a BMW.

(Not doing much for the stereotype these clips).

A Twat driving a BMW. There's a suprise.

How did this get on to Snotr?

0:42 There pig

#3 - Yeah, unfortunate that he doesn't know the meaning of the word brittle.

0:36 - I CAN'T understand how she's still single.

So, helicopter probably in trouble, coming down for an emergency landing, probably damaged by hitting a tree, may be a chance something could fly off given that they're whizzing round at 2-300rpm - think I'll stand right.. about... here 0:52.

She did get the last laugh after she told him he'd just chugged down a burger made of non-Halal meat.

"Transformers! Semi-automatic weapons in disguise."

Handjobs from 50ft away - Awesome!

She'd give him A number -

probably reads 555-FUCK OFF LOSER on the text on the phone keys.

About as much as a Gorilla playing the drums to In the Air Tonight has to do with chocolate.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DBwnKQEJkiM

Who cares? Bizarre adverts are great.

Yes, I'm sure that all of the Pandas that make it to the sushi bar are indeed honoured that they have been chosen for such a great and privileged final calling.

OMG, it keeps getting better-

5:45 - Panda, Squirrel, Deer, Turtle...
5:57 - Weasel, Lizard...

Remember, as you enjoy your 'wide variety of protected species' - you can wash down that stubborn piece of panda down with a nice cup of Agari at the end of the meal.

4:50 - Wipe board... wipe FACE.... wipe knife...

- why have I not been eating at more Sushi-bars? Oh I remember-
BECAUSE THE SUSHI OFTEN TASTES OF AFTERSHAVE, AND EVEN IF IT IS RANK I HAVE TO TELL THE 'TAISHO' IT'S DELICIOUS!!!

'Are you open'?

'Yes we are, but the last person in your party pushed open the flap at an angle of 50 degrees; and as a result, the head chef is going to have to spit on your sushi. Enjoy your meal.'

It's funny how you see your everyday Jo in the park doing this and you're like WOW; yet when you catch a gymnast doing their thing on TV -for whome all of the above would be a piece of cake- you're like, oh that's good, what else is on?

He's not funny - he's just annoying.

If there was a real call anything like that, I'd hope the operator would just hang up on him and let him and his civil house burn to the ground.

Someone give it it's fly fishing rod back so it can practice casting without looking like such a dick

Shortly after Bob's other world record for the most Smug look on Earth - 2:00, I couldn't believe my eyes when I spotted Osama Binladen sporting the crappiest Abe Linkin disguise ever on the left of that group of onlookers.

Still, it's the last place you'd look for him.

0:34 - Chase your dignity Petter. Look - there it goes...

1:35 - Robbie Fowler you naughty boy.

He got such a bollocking for that one, but appartently they did paint the lines using high grade cocaine at that particular football ground.

#8 you're right.

Fortunately they didn't show the out-take where he embeds a card into one of the two smaller melons in that shot.

You cannot train too hard.

#2 - Is that 'cos you don't like Pepsi,
or because you're gay already?

Now it's time for your prostate exam Mr Jones.

You may feel a little discomfort 0:12

Master Prankers - Cockney rhyming slang, derived from Merchant Bankers.

bwnd

#10 - I agree. Judging by the noise level, the frequency of the bangs and the position at which they are centred on the wall (1:47) - it would appear that Daddy is in fact taking a running jump (possibly off a trampette), and Mummy is strapped against the wall somehow.

Another one solved, fine work Gentlemen.

Am I the only one that thinks that a bang every 2-3 seconds is just a little bit slow?

Dad is either Asmatic or hung like an elephant!

#5 - The Newsreader sounds especially rough considering what she looks like - 2:00.

I bet you still would though.

Yeah everyone! Leave Spak-dog alone.

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stop playing and laughing at this,
2009 monkey heads

It keeps getting funnier everytime I see it.

Up there with http://www.snotr.com/video/1858 for when I need a laugh...


I think I've got a bit of a sadistic streak.

Still, I'd rather get hit by one of them arrows than have the fat heffer lump roll down that hill over me.

That cake'll be more than happy to sit next to the oversize pair of tits cake in my fridge.

This is all the funnier cos Bruce Almighty was on TV over Christmas in the UK.

Definitely in my top 5 dubbed clips of all time.

3 minutes and 8 seconds

Cos they're actually using phlegm

They did a similar experiment stacking chocolate cakes on Oprah.

I'm sure they got at least one on.

Yes, I'm sure even a master makes mistakes...

still waiting to see one somewhere on this clip.

Cholera.

We be 'avin that too.

I think I can just make out bambi's ass

http://www.snotr.com/video/1991

- in front of the primary explosion near the left.

That then triggers the 1,000,000 Mentos to drop into their respective bottles.

Yep. Got that one figured.

Next.

er... yeah, ok - Happy Christmas skudtz.

'What was wrong with it?'

'It was rubbish'

Fecking hilarious

Yeah, well you wanna see the out takes from

Hairy botter and the Philosopher's Bone -

There's this one bit, just before Hairy's money shot...
er, actually - never mind.

#2 - are you suggesting his brain is his bollocks?

- you're probably right then.

0:18

Just so you can enjoy it again, and again...

Why do we take pleasure in other peoples misfortunes?

My Monday morning at work is now just a little bit brighter.

Listen, football is nothing like...

OK - yeah, that's pretty accurate a lot of the time.

#8 - Gesundheit

#13 - 'Definitely destined to do great things'?

Are you thinking it will win the Pulitzer prize, climb Everest or do something really great?

I saw a similar version of this in an adult club in Amsterdam -
of course this one also had a 10ft extendable penis.

Apparently they're thinking of getting him in for next years Superbowl break.

Funny how the clips pre and post 4:40 make you feel good,
but in completely different ways.

Sorry, but I couldn't take anyone who turned up to work in a powder blue suit seriously

Brilliant.

(But it should have been posted on a Monday morning)

Best audition for the job of Jack in the box - ever - 2:22

This is what happens when Satan and a penguin have a child.

#10 'i totally agree with the sock and awe thing'

What's there to agree with?
I wasn't making a political statement, I just put in a link to a game where you try to hit bush with a shoe as many times as possible in a set time.

- lighten up bub. It's Christmas.

15# -Sorry, I was getting you mixed up with Dr Zoidberg.

Whoop whoop.

Speaking of symbols of America, check this out -

http://www.sockandawe.com/

#5 - It's a British pair called Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, probably from their series 'Alas it's Smith and Jones' - pretty old 80s show.

I heard it's actually a French troop carrier designed to ferry personnel as far a way from the front line as quickly as possible.

Just noticed that Thumper looks like he's squeezing a big prickly one out himself on that thumbnail

#5 - that would explain why it was in the lake in the first place. Probably been flying round with that thing stuck on its talon for days, before falling exhausted into the lake, before thinking -
"bollocks, I'm an eagle, not a penguin, wtf am I gonna do now. Oh I know, I'll swim for it..."

1:22 - I've done that.

Those contraptions are possessed I tell you.

POSSESSED!

This clip is definitely in the right category. Awesome.

Also - Having been hit in the face by a water balloon and added 5 to 545 to make 550, it's nice to know that I too can count myself amongst the best of the best.

Special Foreskins more like.

0:35 - Sir - love it.

Oh my God. Bambi just shat himself inside out
's gotta hurt.

Apparently it was his second attempt at reciting pi.

Half way through the first, he paused, smacked his head down on to the table and yelled

'Fuckit - I just lost the game!!!'

I and everyone on here has looked as much of a tit on the dance floor at one time or another.

(And definately looked more of a tit at home in front of the mirror in their pants -
you know who you are)

Yep. 1:5 - best bit by far Mutherhubbad.

They should make the 'Redneck games' an international event - get the Chavs from the UK involved. It could be huge.

What would you call it though?

The Olympikeys?

Yet again, someone gets their big chopper out, and everyone can't help but be impressed

Actually, I made that up...


the trial was on negative reinforcement.

This was actually a trial in aversion therapy.

Any repeated errors, and the Lab assistant was ordered to spank the monkey.

As you can see, the monkey can now count
(however the Lab assistant is now blind)

"So that covers head stabilization...now watch what happens when I shove my finger up its ass" - 1:38

Check out the Giant sperm that turns into a flower at 1:12!

Do anyone elses do that or just mine?