Comments posted by dashmagnus

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0 1. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World on hammered dulcimer

That was great. Now do "Like a Virgin".
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0 2. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher (Soft-boiled egg shell cracker)

Makes me wish that there were some really good German love songs.

Someone translate "My Heart Will Go On" into German.

One time I heard "Careless Whisper" in Mandarin. That was interesting.
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+2 3. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Twins reunited after 70 years apart

My grandfather turned 96 in January and is a Pearl Harbor survivor. During the war he served on a ship that apparently took FDR fishing somewhere off the coast of Alaska.
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+1 4. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Dog Is Reunited With His Owner After Being Stolen Two Years Before

Great video but tell the bitch to let go of the leash. The dog is not going to run away. Derp.
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+1 5. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Meanwhile in 1980 before common sense was invented

$30 million dollars? For helium and decommissioned helicoptors and an aluminum "frame"? I'm sure it got the Republican stamp of approval. Fucktards.
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+1 6. dashmagnus commented 6 years ago on video Scariest Tow Truck Ever!

The Iron Curtain fell but the Iron Claw lives on!
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+1 7. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video Out of my way!

The alligator is not impressed by the phallic symbol the guy thinks his truck represents.
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+1 8. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video Monster leech

#10 It's a leech. It would suck the blood right out of the penis. I don't believe any man would want that. And if they do they are the stupidest man on the face of the planet.
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+1 9. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video Technology has hijacked family dinnertime. Watch the Pepper Hacker reclaim it.

#6 I agree. It's sad that people must resort to technology to get their family to spend time together eating. Has anyone of ever standing up and just saying no phones, tablets etc during dinner. It is just who controls the technology not the technology that controls us. People do not have to be entertained constantly.

Anyone see the father that made his son destroy his Xbox because he got failing grades in school? A bit drastic but at least he wasn't screaming about NO WIRE HANGERS!!!
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+1 10. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video Monster leech

You suck me down baby. Right down. Like a leech baby. Right right down down.
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0 11. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video The masochist tractor driver

#3 Treebeard could have never slapped anyone that quickly. He would have to have a meeting with the other Ents first and three months later they would begin slapping.
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0 12. dashmagnus commented 7 years ago on video Truck crashes on the highway, missing the cameraman by a few inches

They better sign for the freight "damaged". Hope Estes pays more than $5 / lb when they pay claims.
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0 13. dashmagnus commented 8 years ago on video Marum Volcano Expedition

It will not be long before some moron with a wingsuit films himself swooping over an active lava lake. Of course, the extreme heat would just melt the suit to his body.
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-5 14. dashmagnus commented 8 years ago on video Ice float party

ER MAH GERD. ERC FLERT PERTER!
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+10 15. dashmagnus commented 8 years ago on video Nuclear Fusion in five minutes

Well construction is no where near finshed so it is neither functioning nor malfunctioning. But once everything is complete, even if there is a malfunction at least there will not be radioactive fuel released into the environment and wreck havoc like Chernobyl and Fukushima.
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+1 16. dashmagnus commented 8 years ago on video Tainted Love played with floppy drives

That's great. Now have them play "Like a Virgin".
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+1 17. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video Kid Casts Molten Metal In A Hand-made Forge

Hope that wasn't his mother's cupcake pan.
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0 18. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video How Jeans Are Made

Where do they make the Mom Jeans? Obviously not at this location.
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+7 19. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video A hunter in a tree-stand gets an unexpected visit.

She was just looking for a picnic basket. Don't have one? Okay. Bye!
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0 20. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video The face of pure terror

He could have caught salmonella! Wash your hands, dude.
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+1 21. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video So Porsche designed a television...

#2 That was my first impression as well. The same goes for men who buy enormous trucks that are jacked up and have gigantic wheels. Over compensating for feeling inadequate. Nice truck. Sorry about your small penis.
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+6 22. dashmagnus commented 9 years ago on video How To Wash Your Cat

I wish that cat would scratch the hell out of him.
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+4 23. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Dog trolling Tram

I fought the dog and the dog won....
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+9 24. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Secret Pool

Because 007 theme music is always associated with laughing families splashing water on each other in the backyard.
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+1 25. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Where the Hell is Matt? 2012

Holiday, celebration
come together in every nation
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-2 26. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Celebrities Read Mean Tweets

Kristen Stewart, Helen Hunt
talk about two boring girls.
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-1 27. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Truck Explosion at McDonald's

Every time I go to McDonald's with my niece Phyllis she always asks what the fish is like. And I always have to say, "It's square fish Phyllis! OK!"
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-1 28. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video The Most Annoying Cat

I had to take the door stoppers off the doors because my cats did the same thing.
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+2 29. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Dangerous Way to Feed Wolves

Is this a deleted scene from one of the Jackass movies?
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+2 30. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Blind prodigy playing a song on the piano after hearing it for the first time

The original sounded like some Euro trance crap. His piano version is MUCH better. So talented.
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+1 31. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Chinese build record breaking bridge

Yes, China is doing well. If you overlook the human rights violations, worker safety, lack of freedom of the press, suppressing political demonstrations and protests and an overall disregard for the welfare or property rights of the people in general. But the infrastructure construction projects are, indeed, impressive. It almost makes China look like a great place to live and raise a family.
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+7 32. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Man Buys a Safe On Ebay...

The world is not addicted to money. People just incorrectly assume that having it will solve all of their perceived problems. That somehow it will magically make them happy and their lives will be full. But that is just a superficial illusion. When I am gone I would rather people remember me for being a good person and a true friend than for whatever materialistic possessions I did or did not have.

This won't be overheard at my funeral:
"Oh my god Becky, look at him in that casket! He just bought the new iPhone and he's not even getting buried with it!"
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+1 33. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Manhole Explosion

Thar she blows!
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-2 34. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Super-cat

It's Toonces little brother!
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-2 35. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Redneck mechanics: Tank Tracked Truck

It should have a decal on the window that says "Micropenis Onboard".
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0 36. dashmagnus commented 10 years ago on video Machine tries to take over the world!!

I did not know that construction companies provided a Sit-n-Spin onsite for employee health & fitness.
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0 37. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Cutting open a coconut Hawaii vs Trinidad

Effortlessly? As he stands there whacking it with a machete..over and over and over. I'll have to remember this the next time I'm lost on a desert island with a wheelbarrow full of coconuts.
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0 38. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Indian Driving Manners

They should be driving more carefully. It is Ganesh's birthday after all.
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-4 39. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Boston Logan Departures

Yawn....zzzzzzzzz.
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+1 40. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Guy falls from top of mountain

I want my two dollars! I want my two dollars!
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+3 41. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Just another day at the office

Tell her to light her tampon and blow her box apart.
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+3 42. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video why burgers looks so good at the pictures

This makes sense. If they showed burgers the way it is served to customers then it would have the horrible white chunks of iceberg lettuce, miniscule pickles, tomatoes that are still green in the middle and topped off with excessive amounts of diced onions. Show this burger next to the over cooked limp french fries that taste like they were fried in week old oil. And this is when they get your order correct. Mmmm mmmm. Just thinking about it makes me so hungry.
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0 43. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Gobble Gobble 2010

Oh, HELL NO!
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0 44. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video I feel cold

My cat loves to fetch Jolly Ranchers. In fact, he insists on my throwing them so he can fetch. And he will wake up from a dead sleep if he even hears the crinkle of the plastic candy wrapper. And I do not have to play a video backwards to make it look cool.
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+9 45. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Smooth criminal

Very talented. Now play "Like a Virgin".
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+2 46. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Baby Elephant in the Bath

The only way to combat poaching is to end the belief that ivory increases male sexual performance. Would be interested to know if there has been any attempts to educate those who buy ivory for use in traditional Chinese medicine. A new widespread ad campaign could be started all over Asia..."Save the Elephants! Buy Viagra! It's Right on the Corner, Right on the Price!".
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+3 47. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video House Built Of Coasters

Great. Just what we need. More crap that will end up in a land fill.
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+2 48. dashmagnus commented 11 years ago on video Woman at the Car Wash FAIL

This is what happens when a woman has a hot flash at the car wash. She should have tried hormone therapy.
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0 49. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video Guy Has Different Way of Doing Tequila Shots

I don't think that was salt. I think it was ketamine.
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+33 50. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video stop smoking

My treadmill has a digital display showing the user's heartrate and blood pressure but I removed it to make room for the ashtray. After seeing this video I've decided to switch to low tar.
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+4 51. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video Leopard Kills Baboon Protects Baby

Shortly afterwards Madonna arrived and adopted the baby in preparation for her Blond Baboon World Tour.
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0 52. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video Domesticated alligator

Crocodiles have two modes: EAT and EAT. This guy doesn't have a lick of sense.
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-1 53. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video Rocket carrying a 45 million dollar military satellite

Attention, emergency! All personnel must evacuate. You now have 10 seconds to reach minimum safe distance.
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+3 54. dashmagnus commented 12 years ago on video Angry British Telecom Customer

It's much easier (and funnier) to tell the telemarketer you will listen to their speech if they will listen to you tell them about Jesus. They won't be able to get off the phone fast enough. Works every time.