Heartless, scumbag criminals that'll take your grandpas last dollar.

Absolutely amazing!

At :22, laugh turned into agressive poop

Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups.

Better choreographed thnn any cheerleaders.

I have a whiteboard in my kitchen, and no clock. This would make a cool little addition.

Don does a great Stephen Hawking impersonation.

"What did I think? Will you marry me?"

Because Betty White is awesome!

Title should be "2 morons racing cause crash".

It's worth noting that Jon Pall had a weakened heart which was a condition know to run in his family. And "Thor" just beat a 1000 year old record to be named the worlds strongest Viking this past weekend.

I hope to never have to be in a position to try to run from one.

Pretty much how I go through my day.

Didn't see a single tennis court.

Time to take away the drivers license.

"The earth is openeing up, let me stand right over it".

How did they climb with all the weight of enormous testicles?? Awesome, just awesome!

I've been doing it the hard way all these years!

You mean its not real???

Wtf? I hope everyone was alright. What are the chances of that happening???

I'm really starting to believe that russians are either always drunk at the wheel or they drive with their eyes closed.

Yet everything is still covered in a thin layer of fecal matter.

#1, you aren't in your 30's are you?

BMW: Breaks My Wallet

My job is killing me.

I'm convinced that deer are the dumbest creatures in the animal kingdom. They seem to be the only ones that seem to make an effort to jump in front of moving objects.

Someone is pressing A and B really fast.

Hell, I'm american and that's how we see other americans too.

My worst phone was the Samsung Glyde. Touchscreen phone that slid open to access a full qwerty keyboard. The screen had only a tap to unlock and it was so sensitive, it would constantly unlock and pocket dial

#1 and #5, this can be a weapon in the way your steak knives can be weapons. This is for hunting waterfowl and small game so there is nothing appaling about it.

If you try to cross roads like that without looking, your dumb ass deserves to get run over

I'm a grown man, and this looks like so much fun!

Not the "bang party" I was expecting. But..yay firecrackers

So much facepalm. So much head desk...

It's a big dessicant bag. This trick is also helpful in the summer, it absorbs the humidity and keeps it a little cooler in your car.

All of these accidents are exactly why they all have dashcams.

Not a single fuck was given that day.

In the retrievers head, he won.

Just like jesus would do.

I imagine a lot of ladies are buying some clams and salt right now

I was expecting something much more violent of an adjustment.

Skipping dialouge is an average conversation with my wife.

Worst place ever to keep your condoms.

Shocked him straight

Pretty friggin awesome!

20 years ago, people were probably saying "Enjoy it while you're young, you won't be able to do it in 20 years".

Beacause little dogs are assholes.

I will give you $100.

It's like a big spikey guinea pig. Cute little guy.

Don't worry, big oil will find a way to make sure you can't get it to market.

Seems totally natural to me

Get yourself a real dog, maybe one that will at least bark when someone walks in.

Good response time from the PD though.

This was my job for 8 awesome years and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

What's that for?

See those guys over there? I want to set them on fire.

"Nope, my keys aren't down there"

I'm gonna go plant a tree now.

Whoever built that certainly was...bright