Three Atheists

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-3 1. MiMe commented 13 years ago

Don't Fu*k with God >:)
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0 2. jorgoxl commented 13 years ago

Mr. Kurtlander, you understood everything ;)
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+12 3. messmaker commented 13 years ago

Quoting after the genius George Carlin: "If there is a God, may he strike me dead!"
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+4 4. ringmaster commented 13 years ago

Great parody, but on what?
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+6 5. Edyy commented 13 years ago

#4 the bastards are making fun of atheists and that`s not funny
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+3 6. kekke2000 commented 13 years ago

#4 Good question! #5 not sure about that... It could be a parody of christianity, believe in god or he will kill you. One thing is for sure though... IF god exists, he's a bully!
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-5 7. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

religion is great if you know how to use it. i agree with the founding fathers of the USA who knew the role of religion: as a non-influential, non-intrusive spiritual belief system, to achieve personal peace. you can want it or not, it's a free country. it doesn't belong in public either. even as a christian i know that; Jesus even says DON'T PRAY IN PUBLIC. personally i've got a case against islam; it's the only religion that tells muslims to kill non-muslims and is bent on world domination. where's the hindu alqaeda? where's the buddhist alqaeda? where's the christian alqeada? btw you can be christian and be rational, logical and reason. i don't know where you people are getting this from... and no, in christianity, if you leave it (apostasy) there is no penalty; everyone knows this, even Dawkins. Islam has the death penalty for apostasy. Stop hating on christians, and wake up to this evil called Islam b4 it's too late! :O

peace guys
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0 8. Wildsnake commented 13 years ago

in other words, #7 is telling us:
Jesus is great... bla bla bla ... DON'T PRAY IN PUBLIC... I Hate islam... Christians are rational... love christians and hate Islam! >:)

peace guys O:)
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+5 9. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#8 I'm an angel sent from God! Don't you dare make fun of me! Otherwise i shall cast you into the noodles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!! muhahahahaha >:)
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+6 10. zf1 commented 13 years ago

GOD? whats god????? >:)
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-7 11. Mechadon commented 13 years ago

#7 personally i've got a case against islam; it's the only religion that tells muslims to kill non-muslims BIG LOL, what about inquisition? and the holy war? and when europeans take control of Africa and South America? Christians are the worst, that's for shore! FUCK RELIGIONS, almost all wars in history had a religious issue! they should all be banned! here is a little video

PS: and by the way the muslim religion doesn't tell to kill non-muslims, please inform you a little bit before posting.
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+10 12. TitvsCaivs commented 13 years ago

If God exists, he must have been invented snotr. :(|) :(|) :(|) ...and monkeys.
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-1 13. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#11 Yes I'm aware of those, but you should also be aware that those were opposite to Christian teachings. What are Christians supposed to do to those who aren't Christian? Well, did Jesus kill any non-believers? Answer that and you've got your answer. Indeed Christians participated in many wars, WW1, WW2, etc but not because they were Christian. i.e. Hitler and Stalin both had mustaches, so did they do the evil things they did because of that? The Crusades was in self defense after muslims conquered 2/3 of the Christian world through brutality and slaughter. The Spanish Inquistition was state ministry, not papal organization. Blaming Popes for deeds of Spanish Inquistition is incorrect. However kings of Spain used Dominicans (catholic order) as judges etc. because clergy were genarally far more educated than ordinal people. Scholars say 2000 people over 350 years; that's 6 people/year. Christians are the worst? The Free World, USA, Canada, etc, was founded on Christian mentality. The fact that all people are treated equal in Court is a CHRISTIAN moral. God created us in His image, thus we're all equals. In islam, a women's testimony is worth half of a man's; did you know that? Your basic freedom's was brought to you by Christians and Christian morality. Millions of CHRISTIANS died in WW1, WW2, and tons of other wars for YOUR FREEDOMS! "Christians are the worst, that's for shore!" Thanks for showing your appreciation.
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-1 14. plurft commented 13 years ago


You're an idiot. The level of cognitive dissonance that is required for you to maintain your worldview must be grotesquely enormous. Basic freedoms are NOT given by "Christians" and "Christian morality"- most of the philosophies that informed the "Free World" came from what you would consider "pagan" sources, Greece, Rome, Native Americans, Rationalist movements, etc... Some things came from Christian movements, sure, but they also conveniently ran parallel to the other sources. This is why the American founders use the generic "God" instead of the explicitly identifying "Jehovah", "Yahweh", or "Elohim". Furthermore, they did not intend for America to follow Christian ideology- if it did, ask yourself again why most of the "Ten Commandments" are not heeded by American legislative systems. Ask yourself why broad sections of Mosaic and Levitican are ignored when making your American laws.

Face it, you're a self-righteous, arrogant, and obtuse cultist.
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-5 15. Xionbox (moderator) commented 13 years ago

Hum, actually, the Oriental Latin states were created to have a control on Jerusalem in order for Byzantine to be surrounded by Christians and to hope to convert people to Christianity...
At the same time, Muslims were conquering North Africa. After a couple dozen of years, the Oriental Latin States were crushes by all the surrounding countries (it was a war again Christians by not done by another religion but by states). The six other crusades were a total fiasco. So was the latest in date: the second Gulf War... Yes, Bush lead and created a war again our religion. Nice work asshole!
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+5 16. MsZoomy commented 13 years ago

LOL, I love you guys!!!
by the way, it wasn't "Christianity" that started the Inquisition, which was responsible for the turture, maiming, and killing of tens of thousands of innocent people. It was however the Catholic church with the blessings of the Pope. And it was about power and the acqusition of wealth and land. But then, the Catholic church has always been more of a "government" than a religion!!

I just want to stir the pot some more!!!
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-4 17. Xionbox (moderator) commented 13 years ago

Speaking of which, did you know that the Pope was the main interlocutor during the cold war? Yup', the Americans and the Soviets would call him up and ask for advice. ;)
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-5 18. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#14 wtf, did I offend you? lool

well one thing's for certain: it's a really complex and fucked up world. g2g see ya
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+3 19. Edyy commented 13 years ago


God is that fuzzy feeling a person has that somehow it gives him the courage to contradict basic logic and commonsense
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+2 20. Yog0arine commented 13 years ago

#11 "and by the way the muslim religion doesn't tell to kill non-muslims, please inform you a little bit before posting."

Actually, in fact, both the Qur'an and the Bible (Exodus) instruct disciples to kill non-believers... You think these fundemantilsts muslims are just crazy. Think again! They're crazy _and_ they read the Qur'an exactly by the book.
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+5 21. s1lent commented 13 years ago

People, just watch the documentary caled Religilous, and get rid of that neurological decease called religion. Imagine all the things we could do with this extra time - find a cure for cancer, look into the oceans properly, explore space, but NO! You gotta spend your free time in a building praying to your allmighty God to secure yourselves a seat past St Peter's gates.
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+3 22. computeraddict commented 13 years ago

lol like how the atheists say its ok to make fun of christianity and religion but some1 makes a awsome joke about them they cry like a bunch of girls and then try to rationalize themselves >:) >:) >:)

very creative and totally awsome loved it when kurtlander broke down. and was that a toolbox/pipewrench combo that took out the blond chick???
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-1 23. s1lent commented 13 years ago

This isn't a joke about atheists, it takes the piss out of religion in a very clever way. Figure it out ;)

Alas my last comment was a bit more serious then i wanted it to be, just enjoy the vid, it is quite funny :)
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-1 24. Snaffu commented 13 years ago

I just hope to get 15 Virgins when I die!
Yall should type this in google and watch it! ( zeitgeist )
It's pretty long and in 3 parts, but worth the time. I would love to know what you think after.
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+2 25. plurft commented 13 years ago

I didn't realize there were so many religious fuckwits here.
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+2 26. orionslion commented 13 years ago

#14 you are flipping hilarious and poignant at the same time:D
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0 27. ArianJakus commented 13 years ago

This stupid parody isn't funny. :(|) is't stupid and I agree with #1 DON'S F**K WITH GOD!!! >:)
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+1 28. Giles commented 13 years ago

Two points :

1. Fox's 'The Half-Hour News Hour' wasn't funny, which is why no-one watched it. Which is why it got cancelled.

2. Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
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+3 29. patriotaus commented 13 years ago

Yawn... if only we could separate the religious people and the non-religious. Argh sorry, silly suggestion. Religious and non-religious are already separated into Non-educated and Educated.
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+2 30. l0ckpeek commented 13 years ago

#29 you deserve a cookie.
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-4 31. plurft commented 13 years ago

Oldfart, you'd better get some fiber in you diet so you can shit your head back out of your ass.
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-5 32. doyouthinkyoucan commented 13 years ago

#7 do you think that Quran tell muslim kill non beleivers or what ever you call it , if yes then your a super fucking big dumy asshole
i tell you why in this fucking time that we live in how kill poor unarmed unaware simple muslims is it USa gues what it is america how do all sins , it is america how invent alqaeda do you want to know more america destorying the world with its stuped leaders thats why China gonna rule the world soon
muslims that you talking about are harmless
#15 guess what am from North africa and guess again if we don't enter islam in that time ,there will be no europe and no christianitie because there is no one like us like to kill
kill is our life but we are muslims now so europe is alive

one more thing most stories in Quran about people like you how insult god and they have no religion got a bad end

P.S: every thing about religion you stuped scums
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+1 33. modder8her commented 13 years ago

Nothing like the the threat of death to convert the non-believers!
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+3 34. Woll commented 13 years ago

'stuped scums'

- No #32 - I do not think you can

(spell that is)
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-5 35. doyouthinkyoucan commented 13 years ago

#(removed comment) just notice , you can't understand Quran in english the language of quran is defernt then arabic and more complex *so even the great religion scientist in islam cannot understand some parts
and there is even parts when you spell it in arabic in wrong way its like your insulting god
one more thing get over it you don't know nothing about islam and hestory so stop telling wrong hestory
islam is complex even me i don't understand most of it
and your not a muslim how you can understand it
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+3 36. sux2bu commented 13 years ago

#35 No one has to understand the language of the muslim people, they only need to look at their actions and they are barbaric to say the least. Just last week muslim clerics in Somolia had four men punished by using a knife to cut off one hand and one foot from each man. Stoning women to death in the street is allowed by islam and practised regularly, plus all sorts of other atrocities against men and women.
You would not have to understand a German mans speech when he hits you over the head with a bat to know that he means to harm you,so understanding the language of the koran is not necessary to see its evil teachings in action.
I agree with anyone who sees islam for what it is,violent.
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0 37. kainim commented 13 years ago

#9 flying spaghetti monster is the only true god!!!! praise his noodlyness!!!

#35, #36 both stop it, all religions have good and bad points, christianity went to Jerusalem and murdered everyone they could find in there, the image i get (from media and all) about Islam is that they are a lot more fanatic and hold on to older rules than most religions, so yes some actions are barbaric, sure, but look at WHERE they take place, it depends mostly on environment and culture...
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0 38. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#37 rAmen brother, rAmen.

weather or not the quran uses a different language or not, i don't like the complications it makes. I say just get rid of it all together! Ban islam from Europe!
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-1 39. huldu commented 13 years ago

Yeah if god actually existed i would laugh at this and probably think it was hilarious. Now the thing is i dont and it believe its just children tales/poor sci-fi.

What worries me is how would the world look if some people didnt have this "god" character or this religion? This religion itself forces these odd people to "behave", so not all is bad.

Then again most of us are probably aware of that this "religion" will eventually die out for whatever reasons. As people become more... intellect(in the future, hopefully), things like this will just disappear and will not be needed.
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+2 40. computeraddict commented 13 years ago

lol all this fighting from a cool parody smacking on atheists >:) I learned a long time ago that arguing isn't going to change any1s mind on anything only time and experience changes peoples opinions.
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-5 41. plurft commented 13 years ago

#(removed comment), USAnumber1,

If you want to cherry-pick the Quran for your ignorant talking points, we can do the same with the Bible. How's this for you?

ACTS 3:23 And it shall come to pass, that every soul, which will not hear that prophet, shall be destroyed from among the people.

HEBREWS 9:22 And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.

EXODUS 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

EXODUS 23:27 I will send my fear before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turn their backs unto thee.

Damn! Christians must be psychotic, murderous assholes if they follow the word of their own Bible so closely! Maybe you should read both books thoroughly for their overwhelming similarities instead of letting your local priest read what he wants to you. And if you HAVE read your Bible, then I'm amazed that you are so ignorant to its own contents.

Additionally, the fact that you apply the ills of SOME Muslim fanatics and fundamentalist philosophers to the ENTIRETY of Islam shows that you're incapable of rational thought. By this logic we can also assume that every Christian alive believes in the interpretation of the Bible foisted by Fred Phelps, that every German during WWII was really a Nazi, and that every Russian alive today is a totalitarian commie.

Your source, Bat Ye'or, grew up Jewish in Egypt and has an agenda against Muslims to begin with because of her childhood. I know, I'VE MET HER. I'll tell you right now, she's right about much of how many of those Muslim rulers run their countries, but their actions are not because they are Muslim- it is because they are totalitarians. They are merely using their Quran as a weapon of propaganda and control. It has nothing to do with Islam, unfortunately, Bat doesn't see it that way because she is a political idiot. Imagine if America was controlled by psychotic idiots like James Dobson or Pat Robertson. They might preach "Christ's love" but they would approve of any law that demands death for anyone who wears mixed fiber clothing (a stretch, I know, but the same sort of stretch you're making to hate Muslims). Can you imagine the laws against divorce? Can you imagine the loss of women's rights? Christianity doesn't make much room for women, does it? Can you imagine the even greater loss of rights for non-Christians? I'm sure you don't care about that, do you? Hypocrite.

#32, #35 Doyouthinkyoucan,

I know that you're a victim of a language barrier here, but if you seriously think that Islam should rule the world, you're just as much kith and kin to USAnumber1 as you are to jihadi.

As far as "history" goes- all that does is show a litany of humanity's evil onto itself DESPITE a religious text. The Quran and the Bible mean nothing in those contexts- you'll see just as much violence in non-Judaic religion (yes, Christianity AND Islam are Jewish branched religions). What is more disturbing is that you claim that Islam is so complex that even you don't understand it- that leads me to believe that you'll do whatever your mullah tells you to do. Grow up and lead yourself.

#36 Sux2bu,

Those treatments of others are NOT a Muslim specific set of practices. You only focus on them because you are looking for scapegoats. Get a new game.
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+1 42. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#41 You are an idiot. Christians do not live by the OT, but the Muslims do live by the Quran. The only thing morons like you can cherrypick is from the OT, but obviously that's what makes you a moron. There is not OT or NT in the Quran, so Muslims follow it all. It's a book of violence, insanity and bloodshed. Jesus said "Love your Enemies", Mohammed (piss be upon him) said "strike fear into the hearts of your enemies." Muslims can not deny what's said in the Quran. Technically you are allowed to marry children who haven't reached puberty yet.
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-6 43. plurft commented 13 years ago

#42, eddie2042,

Of course Christians live by the old testament. The imposition of Jesus as the savior and new covenant did not undo ALL of OT law.

However, you're a VERY POOR CHRISTIAN if you think my samples were cherry picked from only the OT- what sorry, useless Christian doesn't know that Acts and Hebrews are books of the NT? Obviously you. As far as marrying children who "haven't reached puberty", you haven't read much of the Bible or of ethnographic study concerning early Christian life if you think that kind of practice is exclusively Muslim.

I'm a Mythologist/Folklorist by profession... you're in a losing battle here. I know the Bible backward and forward better than you ever will.

#(removed comment), Oldfart,

As with eddie2042, Jesus does not undo all of OT law. Most of "Christian" beliefs still largely utilize practices and mandates writ within OT books and interpretations of them. Obviously, you think that Mosaic and Levitican chapters are the only philosophical teachings of the OT. You're a very poor Christian if you don't realize that.

The "scary Muslims!" statements you make about the European population dwindling are obviously proof of your weird paranoia and bigotry. You're ignoring what makes someone "Muslim" and what makes someone ethnically a member of a country. Most "Muslims" that you fear in the growing population are a much smaller number of immigrants against the far larger number or Muslims born within those countries, nationalized as citizens of those nations and feeling fidelity for those nations. Know any Muslims born in America? Do they call themselves Americans? Of course they do. If large groups of Muslims were truly as violent and crazy in populations of countries they ethnically identify with, as you assume, then most of Asia, eastern Europe, and northern Africa would be in constant large scale turmoil. They're not.

You two need a new line of work.
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+1 44. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#43 "I'm a Mythologist/Folklorist by profession..."

You mean, a profession in the "unknowable" haha What's the difference between a doctor a medicine and a doctor in theology? One prescribes drugs and one might as well be on drugs! haha >:)

No but seriously, I still don't see Christians beheading anyone, stoning ppl to death, amputating as a punishment. Pure Christianity is known for peace, love and forgiveness. Islam is known for obedience and fear. In Islam, if you fuck up once, no forgiveness; you just get stoned to death. Surely you must know the Pericope Adulterae. Jesus forgives the adulteress, but Mohammed (piss be upon him) stoned men and women (Sahih Muslim Chapters 623, 680, 682 and Hadith Malik (493:1520).
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-1 45. patriotaus commented 13 years ago

eddie2042 you are just showing how stupid your religion is, if you can change the rules set down to you by your almighty god.

Science is for ever, science doesn't change, We continue to know more about science but you and your religion... seems like all you religious people do is remove more and more crap out of it (which is good) but still, every day that goes passed don't you feel like your religion means less and less?

Personally, i would have clicked on what was happening when the church did the first backflip (that the earth was round) and then i would have thought anyone was stupid to follow a religion when their god said that and also that we are the centre of the universe (oops, looks like your god is less intelligent then the average 2nd grader (this is ignoring American 2nd graders.)

Also just a bit egocentric?
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+1 46. eddie2042 commented 13 years ago

#45 "eddie2042 you are just showing how stupid your religion is" No I'm not muslim.

what about science? what does science have to do with religion? Religion is just an attempt at spirituality, to achieve personal peace. Science is observing and describing the universe. What on earth do they have in common? It's kind of like the relationship between the fishing which the fisherman do and the pillows they rest their heads on at night. What do they have in common? And why do you think science is on atheism's side? The top 100 most influential scientists were mostly Christian or Jewish.

" that the earth was round) and then i would have thought anyone was stupid to follow a religion when their god said that and also that we are the centre of the universe" how can i argue you if you make stuff up as you go along? god never said either of those. Please, you're the American 2nd grader here.
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-2 47. plurft commented 13 years ago

#44, eddie2042,

"You mean, a profession in the "unknowable""

No, a profession studying mythologies- it's not meant to find "truth" or the "unknowable". You see, where you're confused about the relation between Christianity and the Jesus figure is that you are assuming they are one and the same. They're not. One is a religion, the other is the textual figure the religion is based around.

"No but seriously, I still don't see Christians beheading anyone, stoning ppl to death, amputating as a punishment."

Well, not this century, anyway. Mostly because Christians have moved from the physical forms of forcing submission to the political/economic forms. Why would you need to behead someone if you own most of the world's wealth and resources? You can just starve them to death.

"Pure Christianity is known for peace, love and forgiveness."

Then why is it still holding on to Lex Talonis and holding on to teachings from the Bible that didn't purportedly come directly from Jesus? What is your problem with homosexuals? Jesus never mentioned them, yet Christians seem totally willing to condemn them. The safe bet is because Christians are NOT known for following the precepts of peace, love, and forgiveness that their Christ figure commands. And again, if you want to cherry-pick Muslim texts, the same can be done with your Christian texts-

LUKE 10:10-12 But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go your ways out into the streets of the same, and say, "It shall be more tolerable in that day for Sodom, than for that city." Entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" Jesus and his disciples. Even the very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. But I say unto you, that it shall be more tolerable in that day for Sodom, than for that city.

So Jesus says, whoever doesn't accept him or his teachings will be destroyed. Sounds analogous to Muhammad to me.

#(removed comment), Oldfart,

"If you are into mythology and folklore (and maybe wicca) then you are no expert on Christianity since Jesus was no myth and not a subject of folklore."

I am not "into it"- it is my profession. You only solidify your fool's reputation when you think Christianity is not mythology. The word doesn't mean "false god stories" as you assume; it merely refers to the collected stories of religious significance to a specific culture. Thus, Christianity is one mythology. You sound exactly like the Area 51 fanatic that claims aliens are real no matter what one calls their stories. Furthermore, "Wicca", is not a mythology or a folklore- it is a fabricated neo-pagan religion in the same way that Scientology is fabricated. If you knew anything about myth and folk studies, you would realize that. I shouldn't imagine you would- you have a horrible understanding of your own Bible.

"Are all Italians as stupid as you?"

And you follow it with the wonderful, "Christians turn the other cheek" line. How splendid your misplaced prejudices are. I'm an American, by the way... I might even be your neighbor. How do you feel about that?

"Just what parts of the OT do you think are still practised nowadays?"

Most of it if Christians had their way- ten commandments, Lex Talonis, and all. Of course, you think that codes of Lex Talonis are the only parts of Mosaic and Levitican law there are and the rest of the OT mythologies are window dressing. Actually read your Bible to find out what else is in there. Reading a few passages outlined by your priest out of context doesn't help you.

"True muslims do not respect governments or countries,they are obedient only to their religion."

You mean like the "true Christians" who don't hold god above their nations as mandated by their Bibles? The "true" members of any religion are zealous psychopaths. You really do appear to be the same.

"Don't come to the US looking for safety when you discover your muslim 'friends' have turned on you!"

There are plenty of Muslims in the United States already. Fortunately, they aren't as violent or frightening as the Christian terrorists within the country already.

As far as your idea that the Bible has no mention of the Terracentic galaxy:

JUDGES 5:31 So let all thine enemies perish, O LORD: but let them that love him be as the sun when he goeth forth in his might. And the land had rest forty years.

This line refers to the sun traveling forward over the Earth. Not exactly how it works, yeah?

Listen, old guy, I'm sure you went to church for several years to build up this arsenal of spoon-fed talking points, but you're woefully inadequate against someone who has actually read your Bible, and histories of your religion, and critical works about it, and philosophical treatises by its major leaders. Hell, you're completely outmatched.
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+3 48. patriotaus commented 13 years ago

Arguing religion is futile. I think this is turning more into attacking other people then discussing the video.
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0 49. doyouthinkyoucan commented 13 years ago

#41 i won't say that may father killed foucking assholes like the ""jihadist"" your talking about , there is a missunderstood here people just hate islam by the action from the lowest pople on islamic world
i do hate most of ""jihadist"" because they are nothing but people do what there goverments say to control there contry's thats all
most people in USA don't understand the situation in the islamic world

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