we do have seatbelts they're not as dangerous as they look (?)
they should be worn like j.lo's pants - low and tight across the hips at any time you are seated
if you don't like our service, the flight gets too long, we have 6 emergency exits: 2 forward exit doors, 2 over wing window exits
and 2 rear exit doors. signs overhead, and lights on the floor, lead to those exits
in your seatback pocket this beautifully illustrated multi colored safety information card you may notice (?), but
in case of a water evacuation we have hidden under each and every seat of this plane a beautiful yellow life vest
please only remove that vest when told to do so. to remove it, pull down on the red tab on the container under your seat, open the container, take out the pouch, take out the vest, put it over your head. already you look beautifully fashionable.
however to accentuate your waist, wrap that black strap around it buckle and (?) inflate the vest by blowing into the tube at your shoulder or pulling down at the tab in front. andrea and barbara are coming through the cabin now to check that your seatbelts are fastened and your shoes match your outfit. your seat backs and tray tables are raised to their most uncomfortable full upright locked position, all your carry on items are stuffed, crammed, shoved, pushed, smooshed all the way under the seat in front of you leaving the area around your feet clear. this is again a non-whining, non-complaining, non-smoking flight. smoking is never permitted on board an aircraft. federal law prohibits tampering with, disabling or destroying any aircraft lavatory smoke detector. federal aviation regulations require passenger compliance with lighted passenger information signs, posted placards, and crew members instructions regarding seatbelts and smoking. although we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure, should one occur, 4 beautiful golden and (?) buttercup look alike designer oxygen masks will magically appear from secret hidden compartments above your head.
when that happens, immediately stop screaming, let go of your neighbor. pull down one of those masks until the plastic tubing is fully extended. insert a quarter for every minute of oxygen. although the bag on your mask may not inflate your neighbor's will, both of you will be receiving oxygen. you may secure the mask with the elastic strap. if you're travelling with anyone needing special assistance - child, untrained husband, anyone not paying attention to us right now, make sure to secure your own mask first. that's it for the do's and don'ts. sit back, relax, or lean forward all twisted up, the choice is really yours. we're going to be a little bit fast, but we are scheduled for a leisurely 3 hours and 50 minutes, all the way gate to gate, from here to chicago midway. welcome aboard.
+9 1. jupyter_flew commented 16 years ago on video Bored flight attendant
they should be worn like j.lo's pants - low and tight across the hips at any time you are seated
if you don't like our service, the flight gets too long, we have 6 emergency exits: 2 forward exit doors, 2 over wing window exits
and 2 rear exit doors. signs overhead, and lights on the floor, lead to those exits
in your seatback pocket this beautifully illustrated multi colored safety information card you may notice (?), but
in case of a water evacuation we have hidden under each and every seat of this plane a beautiful yellow life vest
please only remove that vest when told to do so. to remove it, pull down on the red tab on the container under your seat, open the container, take out the pouch, take out the vest, put it over your head. already you look beautifully fashionable.
however to accentuate your waist, wrap that black strap around it buckle and (?) inflate the vest by blowing into the tube at your shoulder or pulling down at the tab in front. andrea and barbara are coming through the cabin now to check that your seatbelts are fastened and your shoes match your outfit. your seat backs and tray tables are raised to their most uncomfortable full upright locked position, all your carry on items are stuffed, crammed, shoved, pushed, smooshed all the way under the seat in front of you leaving the area around your feet clear. this is again a non-whining, non-complaining, non-smoking flight. smoking is never permitted on board an aircraft. federal law prohibits tampering with, disabling or destroying any aircraft lavatory smoke detector. federal aviation regulations require passenger compliance with lighted passenger information signs, posted placards, and crew members instructions regarding seatbelts and smoking. although we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure, should one occur, 4 beautiful golden and (?) buttercup look alike designer oxygen masks will magically appear from secret hidden compartments above your head.
when that happens, immediately stop screaming, let go of your neighbor. pull down one of those masks until the plastic tubing is fully extended. insert a quarter for every minute of oxygen. although the bag on your mask may not inflate your neighbor's will, both of you will be receiving oxygen. you may secure the mask with the elastic strap. if you're travelling with anyone needing special assistance - child, untrained husband, anyone not paying attention to us right now, make sure to secure your own mask first. that's it for the do's and don'ts. sit back, relax, or lean forward all twisted up, the choice is really yours. we're going to be a little bit fast, but we are scheduled for a leisurely 3 hours and 50 minutes, all the way gate to gate, from here to chicago midway. welcome aboard.