#15. You can get this kind of sound from any long stemmed glass. Try it.

#9. You've obviously never bought 'crystal' ware. Those are glasses... made from glass... that's about 75% silica (SiO2) plus Na2O, CaO, and several minor additives.

#16. LOL
Comment to short

Someone should tell snotr web designer that the 'to' above should be spelled 'too'.

Sillier than a sausage sandwich.

I always wondered what stupid people in wet suits playing hockey under a frozen lake would look like.

Now I know.

This is fake. It didn't even leave the ground.

There used to be six kids. But during the previous performance, one of them forgot to smile...

There was no force involved in practicing for this, but each time a kid got a note wrong, one of their family was executed.

5 Helicopter barrel rolls in a row?

That's nothing. I once ate SIX sausage rolls in a row.

That's nothing. I once put on my pants backwards and then had sex. My girlfriend didn't know whether I was coming or going.

It certainly could have gone differently:

Carpet covered in ape shit, girlfriend fucked.

Odd you should say that, because the last time I sent my sheets to the laundry, the girl behind the counter said that their texture and shading was reminiscent of the elliptical planetary orbits, symbolising the inconsistencies of modern-day with the ultimate progressive and polarising dexterity epitomised by Picasso, Banksy and Walt Disney.

I told her it was just some shit and spunk.

Good question. I ate the entire pizza, so no crust, and the stains from the previous six months are on the side of the bed hidden by the sheets. I always sleep on that side.

There will always be gullible people who can be taken in by anything, and in the process pay outrageous prices for items which appear to have little intrinsic value. Having said that of course, it has to be conceded that the 'value' of something is precisely what people are prepared to pay for it. This is the same for any commodity, be it oil, gold, tea or coffee. In this way I group together much of today's 'art' in with other such speculative commodities.

I have no objection to 'artists' managing to make a financial killing in their chosen enterprise, but what irks me is when they feel compelled to convince everyone of the important, deep, hidden meaning buried within their work. Stop the pretence guys. The game is up. There is no deep meaning to oil, gold, tea or coffee, and there's no deep meaning to this upturned paint pot experience either.

"It is easy for idiots to condemn art."

It's also easy for idiots to produce art.

And it's only marginally more difficult for idiots to pretend they're smart by pontificating on the perceived inner meaning of a work of art. Hint: Big words can come in useful here:

"....a fantastic expression of many contemporary ideas such as the expanding universe being captured (as in in our perspectives) in a moment of time, just as Cubism echoed relativity and Jackson Pollock's expressionism is said to suggest ideas inherent within quantum physics."

Hilarious

Sadly, anything is possible in the all-encompassing name of 'art'.

How about this:

http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/artpages/tracey_emin_my_bed.htm

I produce 'a work of art' very similar to this every morning.

It's very pretty, in the same way that a roll of wallpaper might look 'pretty'.
The convenient thing about 'art' is that any attempt at definition is doomed to failure. So, is this art? They would say so. I would not. @13 make that 4.